5am Violence

The physical aussault of techno does something to me, how come inspiration for music hits in dirty club bathrooms? I guess I can see your beauty far more clear in contrast to the brutalist minimalism of punding kick and bass. You become more beautiful and I become more aware. There is a kind of honesty in your movement, something I don’t get to see in you elsewhere. 

More: it’s the unwavering beauty of people present, I ain’t ever seen as many beautiful bodies as I have at Unreal Amsterdam, and I’ve been on the lookout my whole life. There is something visceral that pulls beauty onto techno floors. It has pulled us.

This inspires – the more beauty I see, the more beauty I can put to the page. So I spent an hour writing lyrics, on my knees, amid lines and bumps, a certain type of atmosphere of human euphoria and resilience. 

The main floor as church, and seeing as we were in Amsterdam we wanted to continue and headed to CHURCH, a gay club in the heart of the city. Too many mirros in that place, too much seeing without seeing reality.

These last couple of months have been heavy on miles traveled; visited the island for some much needed vitamin D. The atmosphere is special, I couldn’t imagine a more beautiful place. Orange blossoms as messengers of coming heat. I continued writing what began influenced by the smell of piss, this time in the shade of olive trees; contrast is what makes shit interesting. The combination: letting go in being more present, with beauty around, is analog to a dancefloor; we shine brighter everywhere, and everywhere I can see connections to us.

Since being back in rainy Cologne, at least the cathedral still here, there is only one place I wanna go: back to the island. As I’m currently working on singles, reveling in the freedom it allows me, my mind already jumps to the future and the album I have to write: We Are Love. To be able to focus all energy and all depth I can give into that, I planned a writing trip for the whole of June – this will afford me enough time and energy to create 7 all new songs. I cannot wait to get going, to sit under sun, remembering 5am violence and connecting it to beauty and love. That is what I do best.

If somebody wanna link in that time just hit me up, we got bodies to explore and I’m just happy to be there and look good. For that to happen I’ve started the cut, since bulking I gained 20kgs which of course ain’t all muscle, also fat. So to get that off, for summer, I’m on 2100 calories. We’ll see how that works out, that shit ain’t easy, but hunger is beauty. And I wanna be a part, so let’s suffer. 

Flew to Berlin to talk some talks, see some faces, nothing came of it. Always the city of my dreams, always the city where life seems to happen the easiest. I guess the energy is infectious and creativity is found there. Always surprising, but these labels and the industry don’t seem to care for me, so I’ma do my own thing. 

If you’ve noticed I always try and make everything I do look the best I can, make it feel the most thought-through and make it stand the test of time, and quality. Contrary, it is very on trend right now for major-label-backed artists to throw all that out the window and give a ‘bedroom musician’ type vibe – doing marketing and TikToks from their bedroom, their tiny home studio and shit like that. Labels wanna present musicians who are more relatable, more ‘close’ to everybody else – for people to see them as peers and for other creatives to look at them and think: hey that could be me.  What they don’t know is that hundreds of thousands of dollars are poured into the creation and marketing of said ‘bedroom music’. I think that’s fucking hilarous. It also makes everything easier: why spend lots of money on sets, production, high quality cameras and concepts, when these motherfuckers can just sit in their bedroom and film on an iPhone. 

Fact is, your favorite indie artist probably ain’t that indie. 

Which, looking at it like this, is funny, cause I’ve been careful throghout time not to do low quality shit, bedroom type things, filming with a phone and being content with that. Maybe I should’ve done that, cause it seems to work for these fuckers. Now I’m too far gone, and I’ll keep my own shit up, which costs me hundreds of hours. I hope some of y’all see that. I hope some of y’all know that I am actually indie, and I do shit myself, from writing to producing to singing to doing these damn artworks and videos. 

The only thing artists need is taste. If you ain’t got taste you got nothing, no voice of an angel can save you. The way to visual taste is clearer and more easy than to musical, lyrical taste. Especially if it’s about creating. You’re creating in time, and taste in time is hard to achieve, you either have it or you don’t. If you happen to know indie artists who display taste throughout their music and visuals, please give me a shout. I’d love to see and learn more. 

I’ve been loving Cowboy Carter recently, and I suggest you take the time and listen front to back. It has worlds burried within. 

My top 3 are: 

  • Bodyguard
  • Jolene
  • Riiverdance


Just last week downloaded Opal, an app for your phone to stop you from wasting time. I been wasting too much time, attributing it wrongly, in face of my own scrutiny to research. Bullshit. It told me if I continue spending 3 hours on my phone each day, that will add up to 17 years by the end of my life. What a fucking waste, looking at other peoples lives instead of living. The app has been helping to cut down. I hate consuming, I love creating, so I gotta stop taking the easy way out. Go and create.

The only thing I’ma consume is drugs and art. 

Need my studio to feel more like an artists space, working on some renovations at the moment. I want the violence in here, so I can write my best lyrics and make my best music. 


Love you,